Learn How To Play The Guitar #1

This post was specially made for those who wanna learn how to play the guitar. If you're not satisfied with this, we'll, sorry, I'll return it within a week, except that since this is free, you won't get any money back. Hah. Well anyway, this is the list of what you need.

Things you need:
1. Any 6 String Guitar (Acoustic, Classical, Electric, Electric Acoustic, Electric Semi-Acoustic, Broken... etc. All Work)
2. An Electronic Guitar Tuner
3. A Working Computer
4. Electricity
5. This Post

Optional things you need:
1. A Pick (Too Pick Your Nose And The Guitar Strings)
2. Something To Cut Your Finger Nails (They Needa Be Short)
3. A Friend (To Annoy)
4. A Printer (To Print This Out)

Ok, first, this is how you hold your guitar. Its neck should be pointed towards your left.

After that, you must know how a guitar works. It consist of columns (fret) and grids (strings). The diagram should tell you where it is. Do note that I added a yellow on the 1st, 2nd and 3rd string to make them clearer.

Ok, now I want you, with your blunt nails, to press the 6th string and the 3rd fret with your left middle finger, real hard, and use your left thumb to wrap around the neck. You'll have to press it sooo hard that you can feel the neck. Feel the pain. Make sure your thumb does not touch the string. When you strum, you usually strum on the 6th string first. Anyway, use your right thumb and hit the 6th string at the hole in the frame of the guitar (that is if you are using a classical or acoustic guitar). Don't go any further. If you hear a short sounding sound, good. If you hear a long sounding sound that appears to 'oscillate back and forth' and last for at least 10 seconds, even better. When you remove your finger, you'll see a line where the skin goes inwards. If it doesn't happen, you aren't even pressing hard enough. Try to make it at the tip of your fingers. While you are recovering from the pain, tune the guitar. You tune from the 6th string to the 1st. The following are the sound that each string sould make, starting from the 6th to the 1st. EADGBE. You might want to memorise the 6th to 4th string. Do remember not to touch the string except for your right thumb while tunning your guitar. Besides trying to use your left middle finger, use other fingers on your left hand on other frets and strings, except your thumb. It's to help your left hand become numb. That's it for now. If my instructions are unclear, please comment.

QWERTY